It was Wednesday morning when I noticed a popular post on reddit
that shared an unbelievable photo of a $1,300 HDMI cable. Yes. One HDMI
cable. Thirteen hundred dollars. Naturally, I ordered three on my
corporate AmEX and expensed them as "miscellaneous."
(Also recently expensed
as miscellaneous: NFL Sunday Ticket, Pop Tarts and a pony keg of
Schlitz. I think HR is on the ninth floor. I'll just head up there now.)
At first, I thought it
had to be a simple labeling mistake at whatever store the picture was
taken. But it was real. A company called AudioQuest sells Diamond brand
HDMI cables that cost more than my actual TV. And I fully support it. I
mean, somebody must be buying them.
Granted, I'm not sure how Diamond HDMI cables satisfy a rich man's narcissism, but surely these work better than, say, driving around in my Saturn.
Or as all the sexy ladies in Atlanta call it ... my Saturn.
I first entered the dirty
world of HDMI cables a couple years ago when I finally purchased a new
TV. Although, to be slightly more accurate, I finally purchased Netflix
streaming, and then I had to buy a new TV.
First month of Netflix streaming: $1,200.
You see, since 2006, I had been enjoying an old, 65-inch Toshiba
that a friend gave me. It was old in that he was more than happy to
give it away. And it was large in that it was an actual hippopotamus
that somehow aired Seinfeld reruns.
Fast forward to November
2010 when, suddenly, my life wasn't complete without Netflix streaming.
But there was one little problem: My hippopotamus didn't have the
correct hardware in the back to properly connect my laptop. Clearly this
meant it was time for a new TV. I can be rather impulsive.
(I wonder how my Facebook stock is doing.)
Next thing I know
there's a 55-inch LED LCD in my shopping cart and a kid with pimples
trying to tell me why I absolutely, positively needed $40 Monster-brand
HDMI cables. I admit, his case was compelling. Apparently, if I didn't
get the good cables, my new TV would grow up to be a serial killer.
So I bought the stupid cables and boasted about my big purchase to a colleague at work the next day.
"Dude, this TV is great
-- Netflix is actually built in! And I got these amazing HDMI cables
that really bring out the high-def. They only cost like 40 bucks each."
To which he replied, "Shouldn't you be wearing pants?"
He later advised me to
buy cheap, $3 cables online, and so far the HD still seems to be coming
in perfectly. I can pick out individual hairs in Wolf Blitzer's beard.
Which brings us back to Diamond cables. The company's website says:
"Diamond HDMI
incorporates AudioQuest's highest-performance, lowest-distortion
Perfect-Surface Silver conductors. Silver is known for its high
conductivity and its 'colorless' sonic presentation."
I have no idea what this
means, but it seems to suggest that, if I were to buy the Diamond
cable, Wolf's beard actually would jump out of the TV and make me an
omelet.
I could be wrong. I
don't generally get things. And reading through any HDMI discussion
online will only further the confusion. Some people say quality cables
matter. Some people say they don't. In the end, it's all ones and zeroes
to me.
If you look for an expert opinion from Consumer Reports,
however, you'll find they say "we've long been advocates of not paying
for pricey cables, which often do little more than pad the pockets of
the manufacturers that make them and the retailers that sell them."
The only reasons to buy
anything but low-end cables, they say, is if you plan to unplug and
replug the cables all the time or if the cable is longer than 30 feet.
Otherwise, "any high-speed cable should suffice," the group says, "and
don't let a package or retail associate tell you otherwise."
Still, you've got to
hand it to them. AudioQuest cares about performance, and they seem to
specialize in super-high-end everything. I actually found a $6,900 AC
power cable on Amazon. AudioQuest calls it the NRG WEL Signature Series.
I call it "miscellaneous."
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